I needed that, I needed you
by Penelopepe
Summary: A year into their marriage, everything seems to be going just fine. But what is life without a little drama? Ana feels like she is losing control of her life and seeks to find some. Who else better to turn to than Christian? One-Shot/No kids Warning: Contains consensual spanking My first, please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: EL. James owns these characters. Me? I'm just a big fan.**

I should. No, wait I shouldn't. Yes, I should! My mind's in a whirlwind as I pace my mini-library in Escala.

I reach forth and grab the ductile acrylic ruler off the desk before marching purposefully towards Christian's study. I didn't bother knocking to announce my presence and walked straight in. I placed the whole fifteen inches right under Christian's nose, nervously awaiting his reaction. He stops typing on his laptop, looks at the ruler, proceeds to close his laptop, before looking up at me, curiosity lit his gorgeous blue globes.

"Spank me," with all the courage I can muster but it comes out as a bare whisper, "please".

Christian scrunches his nose, takes another quick glance at the now rather intimidating piece of stationary and picks it up. His expression is hardly readable and at that moment, a pang of regret hit me. What would Christian think of me? The tension starts to build as I feel a wave of cold shower over me. I wanted to snatch it back and dash right out the room, this was too embarrassing, and I was too late.

"Assume your position," Christian words through gritted teeth, finally breaks the silence, "Now Anastasia!" he almost yells as I realize my feet stood rooted to the ground. Avoiding his gaze, I scurry over to lie over his lap, palms on the dark parquet floor while Christian locks me in position with his right leg. In no time, my sweats were pulled down, bundling lifelessly at my ankles. I hear a hitch as Christian lightly caresses my backside.

"Why?" Christian asks and I realize it was rhetorical as I hear the distinct slap of the acrylic against my tender flesh. I gasp at the suddenness while the pain of the first strike started radiating across my derriere.

_Swish *thwack*, swish *thwack*, swish *thwack*! _

The hits came raining down mercilessly and I feel tears collecting around my eyes. This was what I wanted, each and every hit seemed to take my pain away. The pain was comforting and I closed my eyes to lose myself in the feeling.

_Swish *thwack*, swish *thwack*, swish *thwack*! _

Christian carries on dominating my derriere in silence, as though he understands that I needed it. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks but I don't have the slightest urge to say 'Stop'. The hits kept coming, I lost count, the tears were pouring, my whole ass felt like it was on fire! Ironically, the more my flesh suffered, the better I felt within, it was such a complicated feeling but it felt good.

_SWISH *THWACK*! _

"Ooowwwwiiieeeeee!" I cried out 2 octaves higher, my hands instantly flew up to cover my backside as what felt like the most painful blow struck me. Over my sobs, I faintly heard Christian curse and the sound of the menacing tool hit something hard across the other far side of the room. Before I could even collect my thoughts, I felt my body lifted off from across Christian's lap and the next moment I was cradled tightly in his arms.

"I – I – Chris – tian – I…." I sputtered incoherently, trying to explain myself.

"Shh hush now baby," he purrs rocking me back and forth ever so slightly, "it's over, you're okay. Breathe Ana, breathe"

"No – Christian – I… needed that. I wanted it. I – I – than – k –you," I feel myself getting frustrated at my inability to string proper sentences and not blabber like a child learning her first words.

The physical pain was bearable, what I couldn't put a lid on was the exploding feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that made me lose my sense of self. I clung onto Christian, as though for dear life and sob relentlessly into the defined crook of his neck. Christian just let me lose myself in him, softly uttering comforting words, continuously professing his unconditional love for me till my sobs seems to subside to mere hiccups.

"Shh it's okay. I need you to breathe baby. Can you take deep breaths for me?" Christian so kindly instructs. I heed his words and took several deep breaths to calm my erratic breathing.

"Use this," he smiles upon me, offering the ends of his sleeves of his plain long-sleeve linen tee. I took it graciously, quickly wiping away the tears and mucin away. After a good cry, I already feel so much better and I thank my loving husband for that.

"Ana," Christian calls, but I was too embarrassed to look him in the eye. I snuggled closer to him, breathing in his scent – Mmmm a mix of coffee, mint and his unique musky manliness.

Usually it was Christian who dishes out the punishments when he sees it deem fits. However this time I actually asked – no begged him for it, plus I even presented my choice of implement. A flashback of that time when Christian used that on me was still livid in my memory. The last time, it gave me pain and pleasure, this time it gives me pain and relief. I kept still, reluctant to face this part of the deal.

"Ana look at me," Christian calls again, this time tilting my chin up so his loving eyes were looking right at mine. "Want to tell me what's wrong, baby?" His face engulfed with worry and I could feel myself tearing up again, just because I am so touched by Christian's overwhelming love and patience for me.

Nevertheless, I held my tears back and sucked in a deep breath before I speak, "Christian, I just feel so overwhelmed and stressed out by all the things happening these days. Kate getting married, me being her bridesmaid, a ton of new books to stock-take, you going off to Taiwan next week… "I stop as the thought that I'll be alone when Christian is away for his business trip strikes me. I close my eyes and hang my head low in a defeated manner.

"Hey, hey Ana look at me," He says as he brushes his thumb over the corners of my lips. I tilt my head up and his kisses me. Christian suckles on my bottom lip which became so sensitive after all the crying. He nearly took my breath away.

"I feel suffocated. I just needed some control over my life. I wanted, no, needed you to be that person to control me. I didn't know what to do… I just – just needed to let it all out – give it all up you know?" I try my best to explain, whether it makes sense to him or not was another matter.

"I get it baby," Christian says, stroking the back of my head, "I just want to let you know that I'm right here, right beside you. I want to give you the world Ana. God I'm so proud of you. If this is what you wanted, I'll give it to you too. Don't need to be shy about it. How are you feeling?"

"Better, much better. Thank you." I mumbled, still a little embarrassed about it.

"Good to know," Christian lays a peck on my forehead, "We're both busy people and I think I haven't been expressing my love enough. Would my wife be interested in some vanilla?"

I nod shyly.

"Me too" Christian gives a low chuckle, as he stood up, carrying my bridal-style to our bedroom…

**A/N: An idea just popped into my head one day. I hoped you guys liked the story. Please review! TYVM! May add Christian's POV. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: EL. James owns these characters. Me? I'm just a big fan.**

**Christian's POV**

The distinct sound of my phone buzzing cuts through the silence, "What does it take for some peace and quiet around here?" I groan, lunging forward to pick up the call.

"Grey… okay good… send me the flight details and itinerary… No, it'll just be me… Thanks Taylor," I let out a sigh of relief that now there's one thing less to worry about. Taylor just confirmed my flight to Taiwan, the trip there is going to last 3 days but I'm hoping I can seal the deal earlier.

Just 2 weeks ago I had a conference call with the CEO of a cement manufacturing company in Taiwan, apparently the CEO is in very bad health and he none of his children is willing to continue running the company. It is understandable considering its revenue never hit above 2 million annually. Rather, I think it's very wise of Mr. Lee letting me buy over. It will serve me well if I decide to venture into building properties in the future.

I finished up the black coffee which had cooled down fairly since Gail brought it over after dinner. Still feeling quite stuffed from the scrumptious meal that Ana and I shared earlier. Which reminds me, Ana didn't really eat much, I make a mental note to make sure she had a proper breakfast in the morning. Needing a little stretch, I took my coffee cup to the kitchen sink.

The living room and kitchen was dimly lit and I wondered where everyone was. I scan through the room and I see Taylor's office light on, further down I see Ana's private study light on too. I grin at the thought of my Ana, wrapped in a thick quilt, nose buried in a classic, not giving a care about the world.

Not wanting to intrude, I turn back to my office to get some work done. I began typing away on the laptop, going through the e-mails marked with high importance first and working my way down. Just when I signed off the last e-mail, I sensed someone nearing me. Before I even had the chance to look up, I saw a feeble looking hand placing a rather intimidating looking plastic ruler on my desk. I frown at it, closed my laptop and looked up to see the intruder. It was Ana.

I wanted to call out her name, yet I couldn't get myself to do it. Her forlorn face held so many emotions making me a very confused man indeed.

"Spank me," Ana utters. I was taken aback, did I just heard her correctly? Did Ana just ask me to spank her? I was about to clarify when Ana says, "Please" and I know this was no joke.

Words can't fathom what is going through my mind at the moment. I secretly hope that I didn't give away my confusion. It pains me to see Ana do this but I will not let I get in the way of her needs. If she wanted to be spank, I will do the honors.

I took the ruler in hand and ordered her to assume her position of my lap. It ticks me off when she still stood there, gaze lowered, biting her lower lip. Oh Anastasia, you know very well how that makes me feel. I called out to her again, more firmly this time. I see her body jump a little as she quickly runs over to my side.

The routine soon begins, I secured Ana's legs below mine, slowly pulling down her sweats. Her perfectly round fair globes made something stir inside of me, awakening the dormant monster. I lightly brush my fingertips on the apex of her curves, satisfied to know that it's mine – yes, all mine.

"Why?" I asked, the burning question slipped from my tongue. I quickly corrected myself by landing a sharp smack to her left cheek, adding four more in quick succession, making sure to cover her entire bottom. I knew this was neither a punishment spanking, neither was it foreplay. I didn't give my 100% and held back a little, waiting for Ana's reaction before continuing.

The awful sound of the sting of ruler on my baby's derriere echoed throughout the room as I lay smack after smack. It wasn't even the tenth smack when I hear Ana sobbing. Knowing Ana, she can be pretty tough when she want to be. Ana _never_ sobs in the first couple of smacks, even if it was a punishment spanking. I can feel her small frame quivering below my hand, I was so prepared to stop and embrace my poor baby in my arms.

I contemplated that idea while administering more smacks to behind, which was turning into a nice shade of pink. Her sobs turned to plain tears, yet my Ana never once said 'no more', 'please stop' or used her safe word or even swing her hands back to cover her ass. God she didn't even flinch, she just laid there so very obediently, taking it all in! To say that I was confused before was a total understatement.

Usually by now I would've inserted two very skilled fingers into her womanhood and test it she was already heightened by the spanking – which she most definitely would if it was foreplay. But I kept my demons chained and didn't do so. However I didn't stop spanking, a million questions crossed my mind as I tried to decipher this puzzling wife of mine as I continued to lay the smacks in a paced and routine manner. Don't tell me Ana disobeyed me behind my back and felt she needed to own up before I caught her? Yes that is a possibility…

As that thought came to mind, I must've landed an overly hard smack causing Ana to cry out, immediately bringing me back to my senses. I blinked twice; "Fuck" Ana's bottom was thoroughly covered and gone into a deep shade of pink, heat radiating off her tender skin. I felt angry at myself for not paying better attention and use all my might to throw the damn implement across the room.

I quickly pulled Ana up to an embrace, I just needed to hold her, I would do anything to make her feel better. Ana sputtered words that I couldn't quite make out, but I strained my ears trying to understand her. I picked out a 'need', 'want' and 'thank you', well I guess you're welcome? I pushed aside all that I was feeling the past minutes and concentrated on Ana, she's my number one priority, always is, always will be.

I tried my best to comfort her, pulling out every trick from my hat. I tried rubbing her back, smoothing her hair, rocking her back and forth, saying things I felt she needed to hear.

"Can you take deep breaths for me Ana?" I instructed her, getting worried she might choke on her saliva. She again obediently heed my words and took deep breaths, calming herself down to mere hiccups. She clung tightly to chest, looking utterly vulnerable and I wished there was more I could do to make her feel better.

"Use this," I offered the tips of my sleeves to her, seeing she clearly needed some Kleenex but I couldn't spot any at the moment. She took it humbly and wiped her face with it. When she was done she just let the sleeve go and snuggled closer to me.

I need to look at her. I need to know what is going through her mind. I need to know she is okay. I called out to her, she looked at me with doe-like eyes before casting her gaze down again.

"Hey, hey Ana look at me," I say as I tilt her chin upwards before kissing her, just cause I wanted to. Her lips were so pouty and soft after she cried, Ana always had the best lips for kisses. I controlled myself, Ana's need first.

"I feel suffocated…" Ana feels suffocated? What? When? Why?!

She begins to explain herself and I see the light. Back in the days, my subs would do things to push my limits so I would punish them. Maybe they did it because they wanted my attention, which they definitely got eventually. It also dawns on me that what this act does, aside from foreplay, it also makes people feel a certain way – some kind of release as they propel themselves into a space where they can just let go and be free.

I normalized her feelings, assuring her that I'll always be here for her and that I'll give her whatever she needs, even if it was this.

"Better, much better. Thank you." Ana replies when I asked her how she was feeling. Ana blushes a little and wonder if all of this embarrasses her.

"Good to know," finally relieved, I placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, "We're both busy people and I think I haven't been expressing my love enough. Would my wife be interested in some vanilla?"

Did I mention my demons are now unchained?

Ana nods and I am so proud of her. She never fails to impress me. Though I might have a word about what happened earlier at a later time. I put it aside and concentrated on satisfying both our needs…

**A/N: WOW thanks guys, what an overwhelming response! This really is strike while the iron is hot, aye?**

**Had a request to write out Christian's POV so decided to try it. It's a little long winded then I expected and this was a real challenge considering I've never written in a male's POV before. I hope its okay. Please Review while I start imagining more one-shots to write. This will be the last add-on for this story.**

**Book thumbnail: women/life/fun-games/la-petite-lecon-spanking-wooden-ruler-/**


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